After feeling stretched and stressed to the max coming down from last Christmas, I felt a strong need to re-evaluate the role of this cultural custom in my life. My bias leans towards my lack of formal experience with Christianity, although I do have my own spiritual connection with Christ that was formed outside of formal religion. Therefore, the Christian orientation of Christmas has never felt right for me. As I reviewed and deconstructed each of the customs that I had participated in during this holiday, I increasingly felt more and more like an imposter going through the motions that I had no connection to.
The disillusionment initially led me to a full rejection of the festivities, but missing out on the energy of the season didn't feel right either. This inspired me to dive into the Solstice themes which clung to the undercarriage from its Pagan roots still alive, just hidden underground. As I unearthed the network of traditions created over hundreds of years by people who lived close to Nature, I felt at home within the stories and symbols of plants, animals and changing seasons. Once I discovered what this home felt like, I wanted to stay home!
So I promised myself that in 2024, I would redefine my holidays / Holy Days. I take ritual seriously, and so it makes sense that I would feel disappointed in the cultural expectation that I participate in traditions that are just empty for me, or worse, have roots in genocide and oppression.
Since I began this experiment, I have experienced each changing season in such a profound way. I hosted a small gathering in honor of Imbolc where we enjoyed preserves from last year's harvest to honor the success in being fed during the winter through the art of canning/preserving food. We discussed ideas for permaculture beds and exchanged seeds to lay plans for planting. We talked about how Imbolc became what is now known as Groundhog's Day, marveling at how humans are still looking to animals for wisdom about the changing seasons. I came away feeling excited and ready to start my garden, so present and connected to my community. In my experience, putting this much effort into a holiday or Holy Day is so much more fulfilling when there is meaning connected to the ritual.
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